|The Squirrel God memorial I bought on ebay today|
I know that many of you will say, "...well squirrels are just dangerous, they carry disease, fleas, ticks, lice, you should have known better."
Several weeks ago during the horrible heat wave I caught a squirrel eating my Christmas cactus which was up on a ledge in a large ceramic pot which he eventually decimated. I studied up on these squirrels and their diet - they are called rock squirrels, most of you have seen them around. So, feeling sorry for the squirrel everyday I would prepare food for him. Turns out, it was a Mama squirrel who was darling and chubby and two children squirrels.
I would dice up about four slices of Safeway nut bread, squash, carrot, apple (not organic - bought at Calimax) and a couple handfuls of nuts. At first I used up our unsalted almonds, but later switched to peanuts because the almonds were too expensive. The diet would vary, sometimes I would throw in a diced potato, leftover watermelon and their most favorite was banana. One of the children squirrels was terrible - he would rummage through all the food spilling it over on the patio and over on Ron's yard just picking out the nuts. But daily they would wait for me to bring out their dinner and water.
|Muffin's bowl used to look like this, but now it is faded from the sun|
Freida the Muffin was not exactly crazy about the family of squirrels, although she did let them use her plastic Disney Snow White Princess bowl for water. Once when we came home during the heat wave, she told us the squirrels had broke into the house, not just the family we were feeding but at least ten more. She said they were wearing dark glasses, boots and black motorcycle jackets - some with "Playa Santa Monica," others with "Baja Malibu," others with "Tijuana," and others with "Zona Norte" lettering on them running through the house, drinking out of her water bowls, turning on the radio real loud and used the phone to call a taxi to take them into Tijuana. We had to explain to her that she only had another fever dream.
In a way, it was like a scene from Bambi, the family of squirrels were happy and nourished and we also had attracted doves, sparrows and other birds who finished up most of the food the squirrels didn't eat.
Then just a couple of days ago, the squirrels vanished. Except we don't think they just vanished, we think they were exterminated. Obviously someone busted me for feeding the squirrels; two men were looking over the wall and pointing to their feeding grounds where the errant squirrel had pushed out the veggies to get to the nuts. The little squirrel family is gone. "Oh my god, she's feeding the squirrel family, we'll just have to put an end to that ! "
I don't understand this - these squirrels were not narcomenudistas, they weren't digging tunnels for Chapo. I know some people here at SADM think they are geologists and will say, "...well, the squirrels undermine structures and foundations here plus with the ricketts health disaster in Tijuana, they are just too dangerous."
As far as undermining foundations and structures, consider yourself lucky if you have a house here at SADM and it hasn't already cracked and sunk into the ground. There have been several houses which have cracked and collapsed - and this was BS (Before Squirrel) due to construction on unstable soil. Further, no one in their right mind would even think of swimming out in front unless they wanted to be hospitalized. And, the electricity sucks, on and off on and off. In fact, the electricity pole in front of our house is ready to fall over, and it really does look like Pakistan with all these tacky wires hanging like frayed red eyed venemous gargantuan black snakes on nearly every street. If the cobblestone street you paid for to have installed is ripped up due to new construction, don't expect it to ever be fixed back the way it was - you will be lucky again if you get a blob of concrete poured over the damage. Everyone who isn't completely brain dead has already figured out that if we get a huge El Nino, the far side of the baranca is history due to absolutely no engineering. Views? What views? View today, gone tomorrow - there are no height limits anymore at SADM. And some asshole was worried about a little fucking squirrel family ?
Well, I put out some food - the birds are eating it.
Here are some famous squirrel moments in film:
Updating the executions on last blog - there have been more.
P.S. I found this 1930's house in Monterey - but I have to win the lottery:
Also, I ordered this sign from ebay today:
And, if they used what I think they used to kill the squirrels and most likely didn't dispose of the bodies (because as Mike says, "...everything they do around here is half assed..."), watch your dogs and cats - most likely the bait they used has a secondary kill; if your pet gets a hold of a dead squirrel and chomps down on it it will kill them. Pretty painful (their insides explode) and no remedy. In a way, it's sort of been like a "Dismaland" experience !